WatchBlog here. Well, week 1 is in the books. Every favorite lost. That's how football go. Let's get to it.
Add this week to the ever growing evidence that ESPN Fantasy projections mean nothing, as every CFFFL team that was projected to win, did not, but, in fact, lost. The early winners of this week were our newcomers to the league, beginning with Josh "I used to play HS football, so winning this fake league should be easy" Cook and his Juggernauts, who took down the Commish in convincing fashion. JosCook's 3rd round draft pick, TE Julius Thomas, was the difference maker, as the Commish's MotherBoy put up a goose egg at the same position. Gary "maybe starting an undrafted TE wasn't my best decision ever" Cook didn't really have any better roster option at the position, after a poor draft which WatchBlog has previously graded as an "F." Said GCook after receiving the bad draft grade: "Put a sock in it Watchblog. The Commish is 4realz this year, yo!" WatchBlog can only assume a Breaking Bad binge watching party inspired such a response. Perhaps less TV watching, and more waiver wire watching would be in order.
Also starting off his entry into the CFFFL with an undefeated record was John "Do I have to start a D/ST?" Cook and his team NotAbootDwayne. Despite a poor day from QB Aaron Rodgers, and getting negative points from his defense in week 1, JohCook and his confusingly Canadian-themed team downed the Phoenix without breaking a sweat. Phoenix manager Jerry "Kickers playing the Cowboys should be a sure bet for points, right?" Cook left points on his bench at several positions, but most notably at the Kicker position. JeCook will be "kicking" himself all the way to an 0-1 start.
The worst game of the week was played between two of our senior CFFFL members, and likely, two of the worst teams in the league. But for this week, one was guaranteed a win, and this contest went to Norman "I really want to cut Jamaal Charles, but I'll resist - this week" Cook and his Dallas Plowboys. A strong showing from NCook's D and QB positions were almost all he needed (47.7 combined pts) to take down Gary "RGIII isn't at Baylor anymore" St John and his uniquely named team, StJohn (48.3 total points.) St. John suffered from poor roster decisions, as almost every starter had a bench player with higher points. Luckily for both these teams, projections mean nothing, so making a deep playoff run for either of these teams is still not out of the question.
Speaking of projections, the game projected to be the closest was between team Poppins, and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Men. While the line was under 1 point, the final result was not that close as Cindy "D+? I don't react kindly to failing grades - someone will pay" Cook's Marshmallow Men returned to their traditional dominant form with a double digit margin win. CCook made all the right moves, as she left very few points on her bench whereas Amy "I'm gonna let my irrational love of Andy Dalton torpedo my chances this year, and I'm OK with that" Cook left more than enough points on her bench to win the game. Of course, benching Dez Bryant in week 1 would have been crazy, but then again, so is starting QB Andy Dalton over QB Jay Cutler. But what does WatchBlog know? On second thought, don't answer that.
The biggest upset of the day saw the reigning CFFFL champion fall to team BattleOstriches. Despite being a 16 point underdog, Matt "I love Calvin Johnson, in case my drafting him number 1 overall didn't tell you that already" Johnson's Ostriches beat the champs by 32. His victory was lead by strong performances from RB Le'Veon Bell, WR C Johnson, and QB Ben "at least TMZ didn't have a video of me on one of my dates" Roethlisberger. Those 3 players alone scored enough to win, as Shoshana "I hope you liked those 2 Super Bowl appearances, I hope you liked them very much" Cook and her team You Wish could only muster a disappointing 64 total points. Another injury to RB Doug Martin in as many seasons could be a bad omen, but a strong draft should mean You Wish won't be down for long.
In the only close game of the week, No Appeal fell to last year's regular season point leader, the Bedford Gamers. The Gamers again put up big numbers as Durlon "You're at the 2 - give DeMarco the DeBall, Tony!" Bryant came from behind to take down No Appeal by 7. 7 of 8 Bryant starters put up double digit points, with the 8th putting up 9.8. But, what ended up making the difference was defense, as the Gamers D/ST outscored Appeal's D/ST by 7, the margin of victory. David "WatchBlog draft grades mean nothing - OBVIOUSLY" Cook was hurt most by poor QB play by Tony Romo, and to make matters worse, left 13 points on the bench by not starting QB Jake Locker. But if DCook has to rely on Locker this season, "No Appeal" can be renamed "No Chance."
That's week 1. See ya next week. WatchBlog out.
