(WatchBlog McGee is a fictionalized blogger but reports on actual, flesh and bone, real-life fantasy football leagues. This year, he is embedded deep in the CFFFL, and will be periodically blogging on league matters.)
WatchBlog here again. Week 3 is in the books. Let’s get to it.
Hellooo? Anyone home?
The best looking team in the league fell back to earth with a loss this week after an offensive outpouring in week 2 garnered Hottez wit da bodiez their first win. Perhaps Lauren “My Dad made me join this league” Cook was resting on her laurels and that is why she ignored the fact that she has 2 injured WRs and not enough WR backups to field a complete team. Curiously, she also played an under-performing RB (Ryan Grant) when she could have played an over-performing RB (Ryan Matthews.) Perhaps she shouldn’t have players with the same first name if it is causing confusion... As for her opponent, Quail Hunters rebounded from a loss last week and Amanda “My Uncle made me join this league” Cook’s win over the bodiez has helped her retain her first place lead in the 5 Cooks division.
And I thought Easily Offensive had a bad week.
The good news is that The PlowBoys increased their point total almost tenfold from Sunday to Monday night. The bad news is that final point total was still only 41.8 - a season league record low, and not by just a little. (Just to demonstrate how bad that is - Honey Badger’s QB, Eli Manning, put up 33.86 points this week by himself.) WatchBlog is not sure if Norman “I don’t care if they’re good, just make sure they have a star on their helmet” Cook is really focused on trying to score points, or is just fielding a Dallas Cowboys tribute team. If he adds Laurent Robinson this week, I guess we’ll have our answer. The beneficiary of the PlowBoys charity this weekend was Cousin Mose & Me who needed the help after losing a starting WR to injury for the season. Gary “I still have 5 WRs, who needs Kenny Britt?” Cook could not be reached for comment.
Who is this clown anyway?
In the only close game of the weekend the 47ers returned to their losing ways. After the game, the 47ers front office blamed RB, Rashard Mendenhall for the loss. WatchBlog thinks team manager Jerry “Maybe I can’t draft, but at least I make poor starting decisions” Cook should look at himself (Literally. Have you seen that newest perm he’s sporting?) While Mendenhall was bad, J Cook could have actually had 37 more week 3 points just by using his bench more efficiently. Perhaps the 47ers can stop making player roster moves, and try a manager roster move. The Lions have no such problem at the top. The Lions players seemingly love playing for Matt “Disrespect me all you want, I’m still kicking your butt in the standings” Johnson, and always score just enough to win. In the most anticipated matchup of the young season, we will see if that holds up when the Lions face fellow undefeated division foe Cute Little Puppies in week 4. Who doesn’t love a good cat and dog fight?
WatchBlog out.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Issue 5 - 2011
(WatchBlog McGee is a fictionalized blogger but reports on actual, flesh and bone, real-life fantasy football leagues. This year, he is embedded deep in the CFFFL, and will be periodically blogging on league matters.)
WatchBlog here again. Well 2 CFFFL games have gone final, and they are both blowouts. Let’s get to it.
What’s that Offensive Smell?
David “No really, I promise I’ve managed a Fantasy Football team before” Cook’s team, Easily Offensive, appeared to take the week off. After scoring in triple digits in both weeks 1 and 2, Easily Offensive barely passed 60 on a day in which the dominant Cute Little Puppies “lapped” them by scoring over 133 week 3 points. Stacy “more Asians should play football” Cook stated after the game that D Cook should be “embarrassed.” If losing to a team of “Hottez” the week before didn’t do it, then losing to a manager wearing a soup bowl on her head would have to.
Honey Badger don’t score no points.
The 0-3 Honey Badger, managed by Andy “Why did I draft Chris Johnson?” Cook seems more concerned with finding honey than with scoring fantasy football points. They aren’t last in the league in scoring yet, but they probably will be after tomorrow. As for the Leftovers, Cindy “my QB has been knocked out of almost every game, but you don’t hear ME complaining” Cook’s team got back on track in week 3 by crushing the Badger, and will remain only a game back of the lead in her division. After a week of shameful head hanging, C Cook can lift her head again, and probably call her Chiropractor.
Roar...?
The game to watch tomorrow is the conclusion of the Lions - 47ers game. The surprise Lions lead by less than 5 points going into the game, and both teams have their TEs as their last player standing. This game could go either way, but if the Lions pull off their 3rd upset in a row, they will be 3-0 and tied for the best record in the CFFFL. Does this mean other CFFFL teams should start taking them seriously as contenders? No. A blind Lion still finds an occasional antelope to maim, but that doesn’t mean other Lions should start gouging their eyes out...
WatchBlog out.
WatchBlog here again. Well 2 CFFFL games have gone final, and they are both blowouts. Let’s get to it.
What’s that Offensive Smell?
David “No really, I promise I’ve managed a Fantasy Football team before” Cook’s team, Easily Offensive, appeared to take the week off. After scoring in triple digits in both weeks 1 and 2, Easily Offensive barely passed 60 on a day in which the dominant Cute Little Puppies “lapped” them by scoring over 133 week 3 points. Stacy “more Asians should play football” Cook stated after the game that D Cook should be “embarrassed.” If losing to a team of “Hottez” the week before didn’t do it, then losing to a manager wearing a soup bowl on her head would have to.
Honey Badger don’t score no points.
The 0-3 Honey Badger, managed by Andy “Why did I draft Chris Johnson?” Cook seems more concerned with finding honey than with scoring fantasy football points. They aren’t last in the league in scoring yet, but they probably will be after tomorrow. As for the Leftovers, Cindy “my QB has been knocked out of almost every game, but you don’t hear ME complaining” Cook’s team got back on track in week 3 by crushing the Badger, and will remain only a game back of the lead in her division. After a week of shameful head hanging, C Cook can lift her head again, and probably call her Chiropractor.
Roar...?
The game to watch tomorrow is the conclusion of the Lions - 47ers game. The surprise Lions lead by less than 5 points going into the game, and both teams have their TEs as their last player standing. This game could go either way, but if the Lions pull off their 3rd upset in a row, they will be 3-0 and tied for the best record in the CFFFL. Does this mean other CFFFL teams should start taking them seriously as contenders? No. A blind Lion still finds an occasional antelope to maim, but that doesn’t mean other Lions should start gouging their eyes out...
WatchBlog out.
Special Edition 1 - 2011
(WatchBlog McGee is a fictionalized blogger but reports on actual, flesh and bone, real-life fantasy football leagues. This year, he is embedded deep in the CFFFL, and will be periodically blogging on league matters.)
WatchBlog here again. I was given unprecedented access to internal league affairs last weekend, and the CFFFL news is alarming. This special WatchBlog issue will focus on these hot league issues coming out of the meetings. Let’s get to it.
League Fall Meeting in Arkansas
The Executive Committee of the CFFFL abandoned the home office last weekend to meet in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. The Executive Committee, made up of 6 of the 10 team’s managers in the league, made the odd choice of meeting mid-season, and of conducting league business in the midst of week 2 games. An inside league source speculates that the weekend’s abrupt get-together would be better classified as an emergency meeting called by the Executive Committee to deal with recent corruption allegations levied against Commissioner Gary Cook. Here are just a few things I’ve learned from sources at the league meeting.
Performance Enhancing drugs?
A new scandal is developing with the 47ers, managed by Jerry “My team is falling apart” Cook. With the rash of injuries the 47ers have had since draft day, the league chatter suggests that more than bad-luck is at play. Many suspect that 47ers management has been requiring their players to “juice,” and thus the disproportionate amount of hurt players. (The 47ers cut and replaced over one half of their team since draft day in an effort to combat the injuries. Some would argue a horrible draft was more to blame for the turnover...)
WatchBlog under attack!
Last Thursday, a concerted effort to silence WatchBlog was mounted by one CFFFL manager. Amanda “I only check my email once a week” Cook complained to the league that WatchBlog’s postings were a bunch of “malarkey” and attempted to prevent my blog from even being posted. I assure my dedicated readers that WatchBlog will not be intimidated by these powerful league forces, and that I will continue to exercise my first amendment rights to free speech and freedom of the press! I am apparently getting close to blowing the lid off of sensitive league issues, so I will continue to be vigilant.
Inattentive Managers?
In a disturbing trend, several CFFFL teams seem to be ignoring their teams. In week the PlowBoys started, Dez Bryant, and inactive player, despite having other receivers on the roster that could have scored some points. Huh? Watch also for this weekend and the Hottez wit da bodiez game. If Miles Austin is inactive, will he still be in the starting lineup? If so, I think we may have a point shaving scandal on our hands.
WatchBlog out.
WatchBlog here again. I was given unprecedented access to internal league affairs last weekend, and the CFFFL news is alarming. This special WatchBlog issue will focus on these hot league issues coming out of the meetings. Let’s get to it.
League Fall Meeting in Arkansas
The Executive Committee of the CFFFL abandoned the home office last weekend to meet in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. The Executive Committee, made up of 6 of the 10 team’s managers in the league, made the odd choice of meeting mid-season, and of conducting league business in the midst of week 2 games. An inside league source speculates that the weekend’s abrupt get-together would be better classified as an emergency meeting called by the Executive Committee to deal with recent corruption allegations levied against Commissioner Gary Cook. Here are just a few things I’ve learned from sources at the league meeting.
Performance Enhancing drugs?
A new scandal is developing with the 47ers, managed by Jerry “My team is falling apart” Cook. With the rash of injuries the 47ers have had since draft day, the league chatter suggests that more than bad-luck is at play. Many suspect that 47ers management has been requiring their players to “juice,” and thus the disproportionate amount of hurt players. (The 47ers cut and replaced over one half of their team since draft day in an effort to combat the injuries. Some would argue a horrible draft was more to blame for the turnover...)
WatchBlog under attack!
Last Thursday, a concerted effort to silence WatchBlog was mounted by one CFFFL manager. Amanda “I only check my email once a week” Cook complained to the league that WatchBlog’s postings were a bunch of “malarkey” and attempted to prevent my blog from even being posted. I assure my dedicated readers that WatchBlog will not be intimidated by these powerful league forces, and that I will continue to exercise my first amendment rights to free speech and freedom of the press! I am apparently getting close to blowing the lid off of sensitive league issues, so I will continue to be vigilant.
Inattentive Managers?
In a disturbing trend, several CFFFL teams seem to be ignoring their teams. In week the PlowBoys started, Dez Bryant, and inactive player, despite having other receivers on the roster that could have scored some points. Huh? Watch also for this weekend and the Hottez wit da bodiez game. If Miles Austin is inactive, will he still be in the starting lineup? If so, I think we may have a point shaving scandal on our hands.
WatchBlog out.
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