(WatchBlog McGee is a fictionalized blogger but reports on actual, flesh and bone, real-life fantasy football leagues. This year, he is embedded deep in the CFFFL, and will be periodically blogging on league matters.)
WatchBlog here, deep inside the upstart Cook Family Fantasy Football League, universally known as the CFFFL. In my short time here, I’ve been able to build a unique level of trust and comradery with many team owners, and have been able to gain access to very candid opinions and top-secret team decisions across all 10 teams. While my access to some owners is limited, I’ve compensated by making up some really cool sounding stuff. Let’s get to Week 1 action.
Draft Day Controversy
The CFFFL got off to a shaky start on draft day, as Commissioner Gary “I have a cousin Mose which no one in my family has met” Cook inexplicably shifted the randomly selected draft order, and moved his eldest brother, and fellow league member down 3 spots. Although the commissioner apologized for the “mistake” wide speculation began that the demotion was due to the Commish’s long standing resentment against his brother for his 1980's perm. Had he been reached for comment, the Commish would have likely said “That thing still haunts me to this day...”
Week 1 Games
The first week of games is in the books, and not surprisingly, the team comprised of the best “bodiez” did not do well. When asked for comment on her team’s lowest point output in the league, Lauren Cook allegedly said “I have no idea what you’re talking about...”
It was, however, surprising that the long shot Lions actually scored some points and won their first game despite having a running back duo that one confidential league source described as “lame.”
Other losers this week included Norman “I love the Cowboys” Cook’s PlowBoys, who responded even before his first week game ended by cutting running back Danny Woodhead. This move was even more controversial considering his team still carries running back Brandon Jackson, who is out for the season with injury. The PlowBoys weren’t contacted for comment, but it is well known that this move was right out of the Jimmy Johnson playbook, and that a team message was certainly being sent.
In the most exciting game of the week, the Cute Little Puppies, who played like actual puppies on Sunday, found some offense on Monday night and then went out and wet all over the 47ers. Jerry “My perm was actually in style back then” Cook released an official statement on the loss: “Ahhhhhhggggg.” Well said, Jerry, well said.
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